Sex Workers as Mothers

Sex worker’s are not allowed to be mothers, and they are not allowed to have families. We aren’t allowed to be humanized. It’s sad how normalized this dehumanization is. People are shocked and have an existential crisis when they discover we are normal, everyday people. It’s shocking to them that we have families, or that we go to school, and can speak for ourselves. They are shocked when faced with the fact that we are human. This is often the punchline to jokes, the idea that we have families and children, and what disappointments and destroyers we must be.

I found a pretty horrific article, and I was stunned that anyone would write something like this. It’s titled

WOMEN AS PERPETRATORS: DOES MOTHERHOOD HAVE A REFORMATIVE EFFECT ON PROSTITUTION?

The article is around this idea that motherhood could “reform” us (sex workers). This is just one example of how this idea of rehabilitation of sex workers is inherently a violent idea. It’s the belief that sex workers are different from all other women, and from all other human beings. That there is something wrong with us, and society is good for being so hateful toward us. It’s the idea that our society should do everything in its power to change sex workers. Even if that means locking us up, or sterilizing us, or forcing us to work other jobs, or taking our children away and selling them. This has all been sold for over a century as benevolent, but it’s not. It’s cruel. For no other reason than our society hates women, hates poor women, and any women who has sex, but especially the ones who charge for it sometimes. The transaction of paying for sex is really NOT A BIG DEAL. It’s not. It’s very tiresome for me to pretend that it is, just so I can have a conversation with others and try to change their mind. It’s exhausting to have these conversations because the people leading them think they are better than us, they think God picked them and not us, they think they’re destroying the patriarchy and we get in the way. They call this love but it’s hate.

Lynne Marie Kohm wrote this, this is her dedication, she thinks sex workers should be happy to read something that denies our humanity and steals our children.

This article is dedicated to women who are trapped in prostitution and ought to be encouraged and empowered with another choice Though the specter that drives prostitution is not uncommon, it is neither satisfying nor sustaining. "A spirit of prostitution is in their heart; they do not acknowledge the Lord

They view sex workers as being godless. Whether or not we are Christians doesn’t even matter. They think because they are privileged, and occupy societally respected jobs that they are superior. They measure the worth of a person by their occupation and class status. They think we’re Satan, the root of all evil.

Here’s the beginning quote from this article just to give you a taste.

An incarcerated prostitute, who had just given birth to a baby girl, awaited the hearing on her decision to give up her child for adoption.1 As her gaze drifted toward the counselors and social workers who had assisted her in the adoptive placement process, she could not help but wonder if they were the only friends that she had in the world.2 As part of the adoption process, a termination of parental rights hearing followed, where the judge read her entire criminal history into the record litany of numerous convictions for drug possession and prostitution, the judge painted a picture of a criminal who was now doubly villainous for choosing adoption for her child.4 Would not even the prospect of motherhood prove to be redemptive in her life?5 In 2004, there were 90,231 arrests for prostitution in the United States.6 One in three women in jail today were arrested for prostitution.7 Among women in jail for felonies, the rate is even higher—seventy percent of these inmates were initially arrested for prostitution

There is nothing wrong with us. There is nothing with sex workers. There is something wrong with everyone involved in creating this system. 1 in 3 women were put in jail for prostitution. How is this something to be proud of? People need actual care. We’re warehousing them in inhuman conditions and calling ourselves superior for doing it.

For women, prostitution is often a gateway crime leading to drug possession and use,9 or a derivative crime that is committed to sustain a drug habit.10 For the prostitute who had given up her child for adoption, did her drug dependencies perpetuate a cycle of crime that even motherhood could not break? Or was she a sacrificial heroine for placing her child’s best interests above her own selfish desires to keep the child?11 Could her decision for adoption have been based on the realization that the harmful and illegal circumstances in her life were not likely to change?12 This article explores whether motherhood may have any restorative effect on prostitution. Is change even possible for a woman who has funded her survival and drug dependency with the sale of her body?

Kohm has the nerve to claim that women wanting to keep their children is “selfish” and then asks the disturbing question “Is change even possible for a woman who has funded her survival and drug dependency with the sale of her body”.

This is her conclusion:

It appears that prostitution and drugs drive women toward a cycle of crime that even motherhood apparently cannot break. The analysis of the available research for this article reveals that attempts to afford women complete autonomy and sexual liberty in arguing for the legitimacy of prostitution has turned that liberty into legitimizing sex work that traps women within it. but research thus far has not revealed this to be true. 153 Prostitution is the ultimate loss of autonomy, power, and control over one’s body, and ultimately over one’s life. Not even motherhood can reform a woman who is trapped in a life of crime and drug abuse. If women who have become mothers have turned away from prostitution for that reason, they have not yet been found, nor studied, nor have their experiences been researched. Without that evidence, the thesis of this article remains unrequited; it does not appear that motherhood has a reformative effect on prostitution.

Her conclusion is that criminalized people should have their children taken from them. It’s that anyone who does drugs or sex work should not be allowed to have families, and should be locked away. She can claim that this is because she cares about sex workers, but she clearly doesn’t. She doesn’t even really view as people. We’re just slaves to her, she objects whose agency and voice don’t even matter. It’s just sad, that we’re supposed to accept people treating us this. They dehumanize people based on occupation. Based on whether we do whatever they want. They already view us as a lost cause, and they don’t think we’re worthy of humanity unless we change. This is how they justify destroying our lives and taking our families away from us. It’s scary that they actually think they are the good ones.